Wednesday, November 29, 2017

A Little Thank You

Hello friends -
Yep, it's been a while hasn't it?
Almost 20 months since I've met you here on this blog. So, if you're reading this now, thanks for sticking around.
Maybe you wondered if I'd ever get back.
To be honest, I wondered that too.
Depression is cruel, heartless and destructive. And there were times since my Dad passed in 2010 that it came close to taking everything from me. Especially these last 2 years.

I know, most of you would say that you never would have guessed, and that's part of the cruelty of depression.
Most of the time you can put on a happy face, a 'put together' front; enough to fool people anyway. And when friends and family see you leading what appears to be a 'normal', 'happy', 'blessed' life yet you still manage to hurt and disappoint everyone, it leaves them wondering if you even care.

The honest answer is that you want to...desperately...but the depression demon whispers that it doesn't matter anyway; that no one cares about you; that they are better off without you; that you are a fraud; a failure; and worst of all - worthless.
All lies, but so easy to believe when you are always tired and sad and alone with your pain. Because depression tells you to keep it hidden, that no one will understand anyway and really, no one cares.
More lies, but you listen and obey because it's all you have the energy to do some days.

Sadly, I do know that many, many of you can relate - and have lived to tell the tale.
We are surviving depression.
Surviving and making a sometimes minute by minute choice to walk free.
If this is you, please know that I am applauding you right now - cheering for you - because I know. I just know. And you know, and are cheering me on as well.

And if you are suffering silently even now, please know that you are loved. That you matter. You have value and worth and you can survive too. That my friend, is the truth.

So....what does this all mean for me creatively?
I'm not sure - keeping it real here - I don't want to promise something I'm not sure I can deliver. Those days are, for now, in the past.
But I've missed crafting. Missed creating. I've missed the color and cardstock and ink and images and frou-frou that all combines to make something that makes someone smile.
So I think I'll just focus on that - making pretty things to make you smile.
I want to focus on what I CAN do, not what I can't.

Today's little thank you card is one of the SU! Whisper White Note Cards w/envelopes. I was playing around with the new Stampin' Blends alcohol markers - just practicing since I'm SO not a color-er. It turned out pretty cute.

And it made me smile.

1 comment:

  1. Thank YOU for your honesty and openness. As a fellow sufferer, I know it's easy to put on a happy face and hard to keep that going. You give joy in everything you do and please know that there are no expectations. You may be your own worst critic. I know I am. Don't let the Novembers get you down!


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